Made in China

So, I know I missed the last two weeks' postings, but that can be chalked up to a spectacularly successful barbecue lasting over two days, and my subsequent recovery. And my sheer laziness last weekend. Also, the material didn't exactly lend itself to inspiration.

I picked up a Time Out at the off-license, and thought that it might be nice. From the outside of the package, it looked like a Twirl in between two wafer-y bits, which didn't sound half bad. Unfortunately, it didn't live up to my (admittedly mild) expectations.

I'm not sure if the Time Out is supposed to be a 'diet' candy bar, although the addition of the Olympic rings on the outside of this one as well seems to point in that direction. But in any case, the bar was completely insubstantial - the thin inner layer of chocolate melts away almost as soon as you've bitten into it, and there's absolutely no sweetness from the thin wafers surrounding it, leaving you to rely on the stingily thin outside layer of chocolate. Seriously, if you wanted to be on a diet, wouldn't you just leave the chocolate bars behind for some fruit or something? The Time Out is more like the IDEA of a candy bar - so airy the taste has disappeared from your mouth as soon as you take a bite. This left me completely unsatisfied, and if there weren't some dark chocolate Hobnobs around, who knows what could have happened? 1.5 bars.


Just when I started thinking that Germany had spoiled me for good and I'd have to center this blog solely around Niederegger Marzipan and Zetti Fetzers, my very generous manager came back from a jaunt around China with not one but THREE weird Chinese treats to try! Only one of them actually qualifies for the blog, being a chocolate bar and all, but I decided to review all three to spice up this review a little in the wake of the great Time Out disappointment of last week.

First of all was a weird creamsicle-like orange and cream hard candy. I made it for about 5 seconds before having to spit it out. First candy FAIL. No bars.

Second was a espresso-flavored hardy candy with chocolate in the inside - kinda like a coffee Nips, but smaller. This was actually DELICIOUS. The outside was not too sweet, but with the right amount of coffee bitterness, and the dark chocolate filling was tasty and smooth. I could eat a lot of these - and it wouldn't be too hard, considering they were pretty small. 4 bars!

Last of the bunch was an actual candy bar - a Kaci. This one looked very promising - wafers layered with chocolate mousse, all in a satisfyingly thick chocolate exterior studded with peanuts. Alas, the great Time Out disappoinment was to be repeated. The wafer tasted like dry nothing and the chocolate filling is barely there. The outside, oddly enough, tastes of cocoa but is not at all sweet like chocolate, and the peanuts overwhelm the whole thing, making it more of a salty, crunchy mess than a tasty candy bar. At least I got some protein out of it - half a bar.

On average, 1.5 bars. Pretty weak! However, overall, can't consider it too much of a wash, as I actually managed to EAT two out of three Chinese treats. I mean, I could have ended up with any of these. 

Bar-o-Meter



Germany - Land of Culinary Delights

No, seriously. 


Maybe it's just because I have a soft spot for the country and its food because I spent a definitive few months of my childhood there, but whenever I visit Germany, it feels a little like coming home, food-wise. That's why I've been slack with the blog, by the way. On a weekend trip to Berlin, I consumed so much in the way of Spätzle, Spargel, Currywurst, the best ice cream in Berlin, Hanuta, and Laugenbrötchen to even THINK about reviewing chocolate.


But thankfully I planned ahead and packed two German candy bars to bring back (along with the 'real' stuff, including chocolate covered marzipan....mmmm.


The first one I tried was a Wunderbar, which really was a no-brainer to pick out. Perhaps not as whimsically named as a Plopp or Tronky, but certainly more appetizing. The Wunderbar, let me tell you, is wunderbar indeed. It's shaped like a log, with a nice peanut-y filling, a thin layer of caramel around this, and all covered in a thick-ish layer of milk chocolate. 

I really like this bar! The peanut filling is somewhere in between the cream you get in a Reese's cup and what a Butterfinger would taste like if it was soft. It also appears to have crunchy cookie bits and pieces of peanuts in it (kinda like chunky peanut butter), which appeals to my love of 'goodies' in the chocolate bar. The caramel surrounding this layer gives it a nice gooiness, and the chocolate is thick enough to be substantial. It occurred to me that it was a little weird to find a peanut-based snack in Europe, but then a closer inspection of the wrapper showed that it was produced by Cadbury's - in Canada! Authenticity fail, but a bar that almost gave the double decker a run for its money - four bars!

To atone for my Cadbury-abroad sins, the second bar I tried was an honest to goodness East German chocolate bar, produced by Zetti in Saxonia-Anhalt. According to articles across the web, this is one of the 'nostalgia' brands that people still buy regularly, looking for a taste of their DDR childhoods. :P  I picked up a Zetti Fetzer, swathed in a characteristically communist low-key wrapper. While this one also has a somewhat less exciting name than other foreign bars I've tried, this is definitely in the running for my German drag queen name, should I ever need one.

The Zetti Fetzer is basically a communist Milky Way (much in the way Vita Cola subs in for Coca Cola), with a milk chocolate exterior and a layer of caramel over a slightly thicker layer of what the wrapper describes as 'candy creme'. It's not quite nougat, but has much of the same consistency. I think it was slightly too insubstantial for me - it had a nice and creamy texture, but it wasn't as satisfying as bars with crunchier fillings, and it barely survived the journey back to London. What I liked best about this bar was the balance of flavors - the caramel was slightly salty and the creme filling wasn't overly sweet, which matched it well with the nice milk chocolate on the outside. Nice - three bars.

Even better (and weirder) were the small chocolate snacks that Morgan picked up from the same producer - Knusper Flocken. These are little milk-chocolate covered bit of rye crispbread. Think of the chocolate-covered pretzel concept, and substitute Ryvita instead. Weird, but oh so addictive - 3.5 bars.


So, an average of 3.5 bars for German candy bars - not bad! Of course, the 'real' German chocolate scored way off the charts, but that stuff is too fancy for this blog. I'll just satisfy myself with a secret stash to tie me over until my next Friday candy bar fix!

Bar-o-Meter