Yarrrrrg...

Continuing with the slightly bizarre pirate theme that seems to have marked my entire time in London, I took the final step last Friday and actually appeared in public wearing a real live eyepatch.

Of course, none of this was my idea.

Last Wednesday was the Hot Hot Heat concert - and they were absolutely amazing. The concert was at Koko (formerly Camden Palais), located right down the street from my house. If I have't already descibed the place, it's an old Victorian theater, painted bright red inside and filled with shiny disco balls. Jenny thought it seemed a perfect setting for Moulin Rouge, and I have to agree. Anyway, the theater is the perfect size for a concert - large enough to house a great crowd but small enough to get a good view of the band from wherever you're standing. We were right up front, dancing and bouncing up and down with the crowd. They were just such great performers - all the songs were great and I think all the female members of my house are now in love with the lead singer. Sigh.

What does this have to do with me being a pirate? Well, I was up late with my contacts in a smoky building, so needless to say, my eyes were a little dry the next morning when I put my contacts in. I largely ignored it, but took my contacts out when I came home and went for a walk in the park. Ten minutes later, my eye was burning and squeezed shut. I stumbled home with sunglasses on out of embarassment, probably looking like some kind of freak. Jenny took one look at me, and took me off straight to the hospital. Yaay NHS! Maybe all those taxes I've been paying would finally be useful for something....

Anyway, as I'm sitting in the waiting room in intense pain, Jenny and I talked about how the only thing that could really make this situation bearable would be if I got to wear a stylish eyepatch, kinda like Daryl Hannah's assassin in Kill Bill. The doctor told me I had an abrasion on my eye, and that I'd have to wear an eyepatch for 24 hours. I think she was surprised by how excited this made me and Jenny. :P

But alas! My eyepatch was not of the sleek, black, Pirate Uwe variety, but was a glorified round white cotton pad stuck on with tape. Stuck on badly. Awesome. Housemates suggested solutions ranging from drawing on a skull and crossbones, a red cross (continuing the Daryl Hannah theme), or having the housemates sign it, like some kind of bizarro cast. None of the solutions played out too well, so I just pulled it off the only way I could - I got all glammed up for work, and then stared down anyone who dared to stare in my direction. What? It's completely normal to have a gigantic cotton pad taped onto one side of your face. Obviously.

Anyway, that was a ridiculously long explanation, but at least I got to live out my pirate fantasy, and then be completely disappointed by it. Eyepatches aren't as cool as I thought they would be. Typing and reading took about twice the amount of time, and I kept walking into things because my depth perception was all off. So yeah, eyepatches? Not so much. But peglegs? The wave of the future, my friends.

= :)