A Disappointing Return

So, I know I’ve been away for a while, but I genuinely thought I had reached the end of the UK candy bar selection. That is, until I saw an advert on a bus stop for Cadbury’s bars with a whole new set of fillings.

The bars are called ‘Marvellous Creations’, and seem to promise some kind of fantastic experience, what with their hyperbolic description (do you really need to try that hard to promote how good chocolate is?) and circus-like imagery. So you can imagine my anticipation when I picked up a Cookie Nut Crunch and Jelly Popping Candy Shells (?) bar.

The first bar is basically standard Cadbury milk chocolate surrounding an array of brightly colored candy, including some very tiny looking M&Ms. Having a taste, I discover the bar is actually filled with what tastes like a combination of stale Haribo and overactive Pop Rocks inside it – it kept making little explosions in my mouth long after I ate it, and left an unpleasant sensation in my mouth that completely overshadowed the taste of the chocolate. This is a good example of gilding the lily – the Cadburys milk chocolate is absolutely serviceable – moderately tasty, even - but it’s too hard to notice that when the inside of your mouth feels like it’s being bombarded with shells launched by an impossibly tiny army.

The next bar is a substantial improvement over the first, but that isn’t actually saying much. Again, this is a bog standard Cadbury milk chocolate bar with some random-ness thrown in – but this time the filling is absolutely stingy. There are miniscule bits of nuts and what purports to be ‘pieces of biscuit’ but what would better be described as ‘really, really tiny pieces of biscuit.’ Seriously, these fillings are so small they feel like an afterthought – instead of something that promises to be packed with delicious goodies, it turns out tasting like there are just hard pieces of the chocolate, like it’s been left in the cupboard too long.

These bars are far from Marvellous – in fact, they’re downright disappointing. It just goes to show that there might be a reason there are no new candy bars....

No bars.

Bar-o-Meter

:(