Spain, Part I: Grenada - cute or crunchy?

So a couple weeks ago, my friend Venu and I took a trip to Grenada and Seville in Spain. We had such a great time that we decided to share it with everyone else. Apologies for the length…skip down if you’d like!

After a relatively uneventful flight on crunchy (see glossary) budget airline Ryan Air, we landed in Grenada. Yaay, Spain! Yaay, 6 degrees Celsius! Well, I guess that’s all we could expect for a trip during January – taken for the express purpose of some serious January sale shopping away from the rabid London crowds…and some sightseeing, of course.

When we got off the bus from the airport, the first thing we decided to do was get some money out of the ATM. When Venu gave it a try, it let him request the amount of money he wanted, only to reply, “Your card is damage.” Uh oh. I suggested we try across the street instead, where Venu frantically withdrew the rest of his account before the other machine could start embezzling from him. First 5 minutes in Grenada and already degamed (see glossary).

Our hotel was actually pretty nice – they gave us a room with a balcony, which was an absolutely useless amenity in the middle of January, but whatever. We wandered around the city that night, which didn’t actually take too long, because Grenada’s city center is tiny. Also, Spanish people must have the most amazing stamina in the world. They leave the house to go OUT at 11 or 12. Crazy, crazy, partying Spaniards.

Despite our late night out on the town, we made sure to get up super-early the next morning after numerous warnings about gigantic lines at the Alhambra. We thought, hmm, it’s January and freezing and not quite the high season for tourists, but my co-worker, the guidebook, and the guy who works at the hotel can’t ALL be wrong. Right?

We tried to wake ourselves up at the local coffeehouse, which was also not coincidentally the only thing open at 7:30 in the morning. This is where we started to notice the completely busted Spanish pronunciation. Like using “bueno dia” for “Buenos dios,” and “adio” for “adios.” And so on. This was also the beginning of my café con leche addiction. I had one or two more that day, and at least one per day the rest of the trip. And I don’t even LIKE coffee. That stuff was good. Mmmmm. (what, did you think we’d get through a whole entry without me mentioning anything remotely food-related? Come on.)

So we take the bus ride up to the Alhambra (IN THE DARK. It was still dark. That’s how disgustingly early we were), only to arrive at the ticket office to find that there was no gigantic line. In fact, there was no line at all. I think it was us, about 5 other tourists, and some stray cats (more on that later). And maybe 2 more people came up the hill in the 20 minutes before the office opened. Degamed again.

So we get into the Alhambra and start wandering the grounds. First we go into the Palace of Charles V (this bizarrely incongruous Renaissance-style building with a circular courtyard), and since we’re not scheduled to enter the other palace just yet, decide to take a better look from the second level, where Venu promptly got attached by a crunchy swarm of birds that were nesting on top of the columns. We moved onto the next palace, which was gorgeous. However, the Spanish seem unconcerned about explaining things, as there were absolutely no labels or plaques anywhere in the palace. Those audio guides are always useless…except for today, I suppose. Degamed. Boo. The Alhambra also has an abnormal amount of stray cats, prompting us to rename it El Palacio de los Gatos.

When we finished with the Alhambra, it was only 1pm or something because we had gotten up so ridiculously early, so we decided to spend the rest of the day shopping. (the real purpose of this trip – let’s be honest). After climbing to the top of the windy little old Moorish neighborhood to see a view of the Alhambra, we were degamed yet again, as the gorgeous and huge mountains behind them were completely hidden by clouds. Sob. I think that seeing the mountains was actually Venu’s only goal for Grenada. Double degamed. And the bus in the morning that said it was headed to the train station? Not actually going to the station. Degamed, degamed, and degamed.

Stay tuned for Part II, in which our heroes head to Seville, and are most likely get degamed. Again.

= :)
(co-authored by Venu)

Glossary:
“crunchy” – Unsuitable, not up to standard. Synonyms: ghetto, sketchy, bootleg, wack.
“degamed” – a derivative of the acronym “GAME,” commonly used by business consultants. “GAME” stands for Goal, Audience, Message, _Expression and serves to remind consultants of what to think about when attempting to convince a client of something. To be "degamed", therefore, is either 1) to attempt to gain a benefit and be rejected or, worse yet, 2) to be rejected or disadvantaged at random, purely due to bad luck. Synonyms: to get screwed over, to be played